Eli.

I work at an elementary school with first graders. I most definitely absolutely positively do not have favorites, but I am quite fond of a little guy named Eli.

Eli has a kind soul. Another boy in the class started crying today, and he stayed with him all through the activities because he wanted to be a “good best friend”. Eli always holds my hand and wants me to help him with his homework. Sometimes he calls me Miss Funny instead of Miss Reagan.  When he sees me at the beginning of the day, he says, “OH YEAH, THAT’S MY FRIEND.” And today, he grabbed my face in both of his sticky 6 year old hands and told me that I was beautiful. It didn’t seem like a silly little boy crushing on a teacher; it seemed sincere. He looked right into my eyes! How did he know that I needed that?

Kids kill me. They tell terrible knock knock jokes, they spill chocolate milk all over me, they steal my glasses, they try to take off my watch. But they hold my hands, they hug me, they play with my hair, they ask me what bacteria is, they tell me that they love their grandmas, they ask me to color them a butterfly, they understand me.

Best job ever.

Don’t Forget.

This arrangement of this song is one of my top 25 played on my iPod. Listen and weep.

When sore trials came upon you, did you think to pray?

When your soul was full of sorrow, balm of Gilead did you borrow at the gates of day?

Oh, how praying rests the weary! Prayer will change the night to day.

So, when life gets dark and dreary, don’t forget, don’t forget, don’t forget to pray.

The Story. Pt. Vlll: The End.

I try not to do two parts of the story back to back, but this is necessary. My MTC companions came home today. Which means that I was supposed to come home today.

For those of you who don’t know, I came home early from my 18 month mission. I served about 7 months. This is how it ended.

I had been in Texas about a month. I was doing well. I had recently had an impression that I would be taking over the area, and Sister H would be leaving. On a Friday, I had an interview with President W. As I said in part vii, I was sick. My voice was completely gone when I met with him. I mentioned that I probably had bronchitis, and he said that he might transfer me to OKC where I could get a good doctor for that, seeing as I’d already had it for a month. (I was too prideful to go to the doctor.) I agreed. We talked about my companion, the area, how I was doing. He gave me regular counsel and sent me on my way. The weekend was regular. Filled with appointments, and cold days, and me coughing up a lung.

Monday was P-day. As per usual, that morning, we did laundry, went grocery shopping, emailed our families, and then came home to write letters and take naps. Sister H was in the living room napping, and I was in the office writing a letter to my best friend, Richie. As I was writing, our cell phone rang. I picked it up. It was President W. I noticed that he was cautious as I answered. He said, “Sister Anderson, I know this is crazy, but I’ve had the impression that you should go home. I’ve been trying to ignore it, and I can’t. I bought you a plane ticket.” I was shocked. We talked some more about logistical things, and then my parents called. We cried. They were supportive,and said they would see me soon. I was home 2 days later.

I wasn’t sick other than my very cure-able bronchitis. I wasn’t depressed. I loved being a missionary. I remember coming home, and sleeping and crying for the next 2 months, or so. I couldn’t figure it out. I remember crying on my mom’s lap yelling, “I COULD HAVE MADE IT. I COULD HAVE MADE IT. I SHOULD HAVE MADE IT THROUGH.”  I knew that I wasn’t supposed to go back. (I promise, if Heavenly Father told me right now to pack my bags, I would.) To this very day, I have very little idea about why I came home. I have thought of every single possibility under the sun. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder about what my life could have been like. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my Oklahoma people, and how amazing they are.

There is only one conclusion I can come to: God has a plan. I don’t know what kind of plan that is, but it’s a perfect one.

The Story. Pt. Vll: Texas.

After 12 weeks in Ada, I got a transfer call. I was not expecting it. I remember that I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom when our district leader called. Instead of moving to another room in the house, Sister Moulton and I talked to him while sitting on the edge of the bathtub. I thought that both of us would stay another transfer, and if anyone was going to be transferred, it would be Sister M. I was wrong. When Elder Bender told us that I would be moving to Wichita Falls, Texas, I cried. I was embarrassed, but I was super attached to Ada, and I would have been content to stay there for the rest of my mission. I was super bummed, but I was also excited for a new adventure.

Texas is like a different world. It’s true that things are bigger, and they are so prideful. Texans love Texas. The ward I was assigned to is massive. There were 4 companionships of missionaries that covered all of Wichita Falls, and the surrounding towns. A set of Spanish elders, a set of Spanish sisters, and then a set of English elders, and us-the English sisters. All of the missionaries in our mission want to serve in Texas, but only a few actually get to serve there. I felt pretty special.

Sister Holbrook was my new companion. She’s one of the most Christlike humans I know. She’s amazing. I got to Texas a couple of weeks before Christmas. I started to feel sick, but I thought it would pass. I was tired all the time. My body started to rebel, and I took a lot of naps.

Christmas was interesting. That morning, I called my family. I was nervous. Every missionary that I’ve talked to loves/hates phone calls home. It’s like your heart is being torn apart, but also uplifted. I didn’t cry until we said goodbye. I told them I loved them, and that I’d talk to them on Mother’s day ( I WAS WRONG HAHAHAHA). We spent Christmas morning at the Welch’s house. They asked me to play Christmas songs on their piano while they made breakfast. We looked through Sister Welch’s mission pictures. We ate a lot of food. We went home and napped. I don’t remember if we had any appointments. Mission Christmases are great because nothing is there to distract you. Christmas is so literally about Christ, and that was amazing. It was such a good Christmas, besides the fact that by this time, my voice was starting to go, and I was quite sick. I’ll always remember that one time I spent Christmas in Texas.

On Christmas Eve, we went over to the Perez’s house for an authentic Mexican Christmas. We sang a lot, and the food was sublime.

We need to invest in Bahama Bucks in Utah. Texas is warm. This picture was taken after Christmas.

Christmas Jams.

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS??? Christmas jam time. This list was so hard to put together, but I did my best to incorporate my favorite arrangements of classics, and also include some new ones. I could literally give you a Christmas playlist by genre, as well, but I did what I could to have all the varieties! Enjoy!

I’m pumped.

1. Winter Moon- Mindy Gledhill. Romance and Christmas and magic.

2. Lumberjack Christmas/No One Can Save You From Christmases Past-Sufjan Stevens. I mean, I don’t know. It’s just great.

3. Winter Song- Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson. You should know this one.

4. White Winter Hymnal- Fleet Foxes. This is jolly and adorable.

5. All Is Well- Michael W. Smith. I’m partial to this one. It’s gorgeous, and spiritual, and it makes my whole family cry.

6. Emmanuel- Amy Grant. Obviously.

7. Merry Christmas, Darling- The Carpenters. Hate on it, but it’s a classic.

8. Go Tell it on the Mountain- Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors. Very folksy, and a new find for me. I love it.

9. Baby, It’s Cold Outside- Indina Menzel and Michael Buble. GUYS, THIS IS GOOD.

10. Sleigh Ride- Relient K. This is unexpected, and weirdly beautiful, and a real jam. It impressed me.

11. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year- Andy Williams.This one makes me feel Christmas magic like crazy.

12. Little Town-Amy Grant. I’m sorry, but Amy Grant SCREAMS Christmas magic. I love her.

13. Christmas Angels- Michael W. Smith. Also MWS gives me Christmas chills. Can you tell I grew up with AG and MWS?

14. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas- A Great Big World. A new take on a relatively annoying carol. I dig it.

15. The First Noel- Emmylou Harris. Very folksy. Maybe even a little country? I dunno, the harmonies are nice.

Here it is! 🙂 MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

A Day in the Life.

November 24, 2014

2:30 AM “Oh, my alarm goes off in 4 hours. I can’t wait.”

6:30 Alarm goes off. It plays “Budapest” by George Ezra. I hit snooze. George starts singing again at 6:40, and I roll out of bed. “You can take a nap in 6 hours.”, I tell myself. I look in the mirror, and wish that my hair was a little less crazy,and that my eyes were less puffy, and that I didn’t grow zits. I don’t have time to do anything about it, so I just leave it.

I only slip on the ice twice as I walk up 8th. I consider that a good record.

i’m on campus at 7. The guy at the desk of the computer lab mumbles, “Good morning,”. We’re friends on Facebook, but I don’t think he remembers me. I sit down and pull up my email. I need to print my composition for music class, but the file is messed up. I try to open it in different folders, but nothing works. I almost start to cry. I’m too tired to think clearly, or ask for help, so I email my professor.

“Allison,

I promise that my composition is done, but the file isn’t working this morning, and the computer won’t let me print it. May I please email it to you? Or give it to you on next Monday for class? I’m so sorry. Thanks for your help. -Reagan”

7:15 rolls around, and I need to book it to class. I kind of run to the fine arts building, and am surprised when Allison starts handing out an exam. I forgot we had an exam today. I kind of hate myself for not going to class for the last week. I silently thank my father for teaching me how to analyze chord progressions with roman numerals, how to label inversions, and how to identify a cadence at the end of a phrase. “Bless my dad’s soul”, I think.

My class at 9:30 is a bore. We talk about photography, and the man next to me snores. I text Hannah with a very dramatic, “Hannah this is the worst day of my existence.”. She politely asks what’s wrong, even though she’s aware that my day really isn’t that bad. Such a good friend. I send her pictures of One Direction.

10:30 comes, and I’m in History class. I keep nodding off, so I try to take good notes. Dr. Terry is rambling about airplanes, and the girl next to me is on Pinterest, and I just want to sleep.

I practically run home around noon. I jump into my bed and sleep for an hour. I have to get up and get ready for Anthropology class. And eat. I haven’t eaten today. I choose to eat Ramen. I’m reminded that Ramen sucks.

Anthropology is filled with people who are opinionated. Full of non-traditional 50 year-old mothers who have a very strong opinion on people with tattoos in the workplace. We debate about body art for an hour.

Hannah picks me up from class at 4. We drive to the Logan City library, where we will spend the next 3 hours GLOSSING 3 minutes of a biography in ASL. GLOSSING is kind of like translating, but ASL can’t be written down, so you write it in English.There’s a lot of symbols and things that makes it hellish. We only finish about 45 seconds of GLOSSING. My brain is fried. And I’m hungry again. Hannah drops me off at my house, and I see Riann and Allie in the living room. I run and hug them both. I love them. I make a grilled cheese, and sit down with them. They’re watching “She’s the Man”. I take a bite of my sandwich, and Kamilla comes upstairs. She says, “You ready for FHE?” I forgot about FHE. I’m exhausted. But I say yes.

The church is full of awkward young single adults. I sit at a table with people from my ward that I have met 5 times before. They ask me my name. For some reason, this makes me mad, and sad. I remind them of my name, and get some Thanksgiving dinner. Kamilla ends up socializing at another table, and I’m left with people I hardly know. I eat pumpkin pie, leaving the crust for last. That’s my favorite part.  I see an open seat next to Kamilla, and I run for it. I sit down. The boy to my right asks me my name. I say, “Brian, I gave you a ride to school two days ago.” He says, “I’m sorry. We’ve met?” “I’m Reagan, ” I say. “And that is the third time that someone has forgotten me in the last hour.” He apologizes, and hugs me. He says I look a little tired. I tell him about my day. “For sleeping so little, and working so hard today, ” he says, “your eyes are surprisingly bright.” I say thanks. That is probably one of the nicest things ever. I get home, and take a shower until the hot water runs out.

And then I go to bed.

I’m Avoiding Homework

I need to to so much homework, but instead I’m just going to write a blog post. whoops.

I don’t know when I became scared of everything, but it’s annoying me.

I know that I should be doing things that I’m passionate about. I should be singing, and performing, and writing beautiful things, but I’m scared. WHY AM I SO SCARED?

The Story Part Vl: Are You Sick of Ada? Too Bad.

Ada’s a small town, and there’s not much to do. But there was this one place that the elders always wanted to eat: The Chinese Buffet. They also called it a “Buff-ett”. Because they’re 19 year old kids.

I bring up the Buffett because one time at the beginning of December, it snowed really hard. I don’t even know if snow is the right word. It iced. It sleeted. Ada froze over.

.

We weren’t allowed to go out and teach for 3 days. The whole state of Oklahoma owns like 3 snow plows, so it continued to snow and ice and we got stuck inside. And it was terrible. There was literally (I assure you I’m using that word correctly) nothing to do. As a missionary, you can’t just sit down and watch tv. We read the scriptures and made cookies and cleaned the house and napped and wrote in our journals. But you can only do that for so long before you start to go crazy. So, finally, we begged our district leader to let us go out, and he agreed. We walked. To keep our feet warm and dry, we tied plastic bags around them, and then stuffed them into our shoes.

We walked to the church, which was a 5 minute drive from our house. It took us an hour to walk. The wind was blowing, and it was freezing, and we kind of wanted to die, but we couldn’t stand being inside anymore. When we got to the church, we saw the elders and members of the ward shoveling the walks of the church, and we helped. Afterwards, the Elder Quorum president took us out to lunch. He said that we could choose wherever we wanted. The elders overpowered us and chose The Chinese Buffet. I didn’t mind, I just was bummed that they didn’t serve hot cocoa.

Reflections on Sunday.

I’ve been told a few times in my life that I sing too loud-mostly in Jr. High choir. But, today at church, I didn’t care. I sang really loud. I sang the soprano part loud. If you know me at all, you know that I exclusively sing alto 99% of the time. I was in such a sing-y mood, that I just went for it. I wanted to sing well, so I reverted my mind to high school, consciously trying to lift my soft palate, breathe correctly, and use good diction. We sang this:

1. 3. My eyes are wet; my heart is full.
   The Spirit speaks today.
   O Lord, wilt thou my life renew
   And in my bosom stay.
2. 4. As testimony fills my heart,
   It dulls the pain of days.
   For one brief moment, heaven’s view
   Appears before my gaze

Sometimes, it’s easy to wallow in self-pity. I’ve done it too much the last few months as I’ve experienced school, and other hard things. But this song hit me incredibly hard today. The Lord has the power to renew my life, and He does when I let Him. I will continue to feel renewed as I do what I’m supposed to do. My testimony DOES dull the pain of days. Life sucks, but one thing that is incredibly constant, and amazing and calming and peaceful, is the gospel, and my testimony. My testimony helps me focus on the important things-things of eternal worth. And when I focus on things of eternal worth, I can feel a bit of heaven. I think this is one of my favorite hymns because of the experience I had today with it. It hit me. Listen to the hymn here: https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/testimony?lang=eng

Have a good week. You can do it.

Autumn jams.

I think it’s time for another jam session here. Autumn requires cozy music. I got you covered.

1. Walk With Me- Luna Lune. (She’s local-makes it even better.)

2. Rivers and Roads-The Head and the Heart (I’m SO in love with THATH.)

3. Five Foot Three-Flannel Graph (“There’s more to life than pretty things, so I’ll just give you me.” Incredible lyrics, kids.)

4. Lie Awake & Dream- Runaway Symphony (This song is beautiful. You might cry.)

5. This Heart I Know- Westward the Tide (Also local. Fun fact: Luna Lune is dating a guitarist in WTT.)

6. I Knew This Would Be Love- Imaginary Future (Seriously considering this as a wedding song, because, wow.)

7. At Home- Crystal Fighters (Just found this gem. It’s a bit faster, but it’s still calming.)

8.Gotta Have You-The Weepies (The Weepies. Mmm, they’re perfect.)

9. I Lived- OneRepublic (This song pumps me up, man.)

10. Blood-The Middle East (Because I will never stop loving this one. Ever.)

Here’s the playlist!

Don’t worry, I’ve already thought of songs for a Christmas jam session.